Quotes said by Morton Koopa Jr.
- "Hey! Kootie Pie! Stick 'em up! Put your hands in the air! I'm a thief!"
- "Hey, lady! Gimmie your purse! I'm a real bad robber Koopa! I'm also a baaaaaad dancer!"
- "Not here, Kootie Pie! Use your head for something besides make-up! Those faucet-fixers might see it! They got eyes everywhere! They got ears too, so keep it quiet! We don't want them at our circus, we just want cave-people like Papa Koopa said. Then the more, the better, and furthermore--"
- "Come one, come all, to the greatest circus of them all: the Koopaling Bros. Circus, greatest show in Dinosaur Land! Because of me, Big Mouth, the greatest ringleader of them all, master tamer of dangerous dinosaurs, mastermind of the amazing Mech-Koopas, lord of all he surveys, proveyor of--"
- "Large-brained clutzes! I am not part of your stupid act! I am the ringmaster! The greatest ringmaster of them all at the greatest circus of them all! I am your fearless leader! Your master of pump and ceremony! I am to be treated with... [a Rex throws a pie in his face] respect!"
- "On to the next act, folks! There'll be lots of audience participation! Fun for all and all for fun! The time of your life! The last time of your life!"
- "Have a good time! Have a nice day! Sayonara! So long! Ciao! See you later, alligator! Ciao! Bon voyage! Hasta la vista! Be sure to write!"
- "Thank you, thank you. And in this corner, from the bucolic world of Brooklyn in that rollicking real world, these two loud, bungling, faucet fixing freaks, those forever foolish, fur-brained fish heads... Fish heads? A foolish, flabby, bug-eating... [one of the Tyrannosaurus Twins throws him out of the arena] YARG!"
- "AHH! Not my favorite string! It's invaluable! Oh, there's a story behind this string, on Great Grandfather Koopa..."
- Morton: Welcome to All-Star Prehistoric Wrestling, a splendid gladiatorial spectacle, a fabulous fight to the finish! In this corner in the pink and purple trunks with the orange ruffles, weighing in at 90,000 pounds each, the totally terrible twosome, titanic, thunderous, thumping, throttling, towering, thrusting, tripping top heavy, top notch, top fight, tip toe, tip top, top tip...
- Bowser: Top this, Turkey Mouth!
- Morton: Wait, I'm just about to finish! This big, BIG finish! In this corner, the Tyrrrrrrannosaurus Twins! A totally terrific twosome, a terrifying... [Bowser throws him out of the arena]
- Morton: You're looking live at the Koopadome, where football is played the way it was meant to be played, in a dark, damp, dusty dungeon! Welcome to today's game, featuring those bad boys of Neon Castle, the Koopa Carcass Crunchers versus the Dome-Heads, Mario and Yoshi, who by the way don't seem to have any fans in attendance! And before I forget, we would like to extend a special welcome to Mario's brother, Luigi [who has been turned into an egg]; without his presence as a football, none of this would be possible! Today's game will be refereed by "honest" Cheatsy Koopa. It's not easy being a referee; sure, Cheatsy might let a lot of penalties go unnoticed, but you have to let them play the game! Cheatsy is so unbiased that in a gesture of goodwill, Mario and Yoshi will start the play! So it'll be first and ten, but it might as well be fourth and long! 'Cause it's now or never, it's do or die, and it's sudden death if that egg brrrrrreaks open! Boy, that missed extra point sure looms BIG now! Oh, the excitement's building up in the--
- Roy: Awwww, shaddap! We'll never get started!!