Hi! Its me, Yochu!
Now, I've been thinking about Yoshis a lot, and nearly every Mario character has his or her major flaw. (All Game Theory watchers will know this.) I couldn't help but notice that Game Theory never saw anything wrong with Yoshi. He's cute, he's lovable, and he's super helpful and fun! But he's something else too...he's racist.
Now before everyone starts yelling at me, I have evidence.
There are five major Yoshi colors, correct? Green, Red, Blue, Yellow, Pink, and Light Blue. But there are four others as well. Black, White, Orange, and Purple. This may seem irrelevant, but its actually very important.
Enter Yoshi's Story. A happy-go-lucky game about some Yoshis trying to save their home. But only the five major colors appear as defaults. Black and White Yoshis are found from special eggs and Orange and Purple are barely seen at all.
Why? Because they're treated differently because of their color.
If you lose a Yoshi in Yoshis Story and you eat a white shy guy with another Yoshi, you can select him on the character select, the remaining Yoshi(s) will order them to go off and free a captured Yoshi. But no matter how many you use, the Yoshis will never send him for the Black and Wpictes. The Black and White Yoshis are left to downright DIE in the fortress. And this isnt just some kind of "theyre weaker. Its for the good of everyone." Drama. The Black and White Yoshis are actually BETTER. They have every kind of fruit as their favorite, while the regular Yoshis only have one. They were left because of their color. Oh, things just got dark! But it only gets worse...
Remember the Orange and Purple Yoshis from before? Well, they do appear one time. In the intro, an Orange and a Purple Yoshi can be seen playing together in the background. They get unhappy...and die.
WHAT?! Yochu, come on! They don't DIE! They just...just...
Nope. I'm sorry. They die.
When the tree gets stolen, all of the Yoshis become unhappy. But the looks on their faces show the true fault. They become sick if they are taken away from that tree. LETHALLY sick. The only other time in any other Nintendo game where we see somebody who looks like that in the N64 era is the OLD MUMMY IN THE CLOSET FROM MAJORAS MASK! Seriously! And further proof? The Yoshis at least accepted the Black and White ones on their journey, but they left the Orange and Purple ones to DIE. The Orange and Purple Yoshis didn't appear during the games ending, with all of the Yoshis rejoicing at the return of the Super Happy Tree. They never appear anywhere else in the game. Which means only one thing. They died. Why? Because Yoshis mistreated the Orange and Purple Yoshis due to their color. Not their strengths or their weaknesses. Not to support someone else. For their own selfish wants.
Not convincing enough? Look at the box art for Yoshis Island U. The White and Black Yoshis aren't even willing to LOOK at each other! The other five are all happy and joyful, playing around, and Black Yoshi and White Yoshi are just crossing their arms, downright ignoring the other. And none of the other Yoshis even acknowledge their feud.
Even in the spinoffs, they're racist!
Smash Bros? NOPE. Get out B, W, O, and P! Mario Kart? Sorry. Admission for normal colors only. No race watching for you. The team sports? Stay outta here you people! Only five per team!
So there you have it. Yoshi, our good little dinosaur, is a racist.
But hey, that's just a theory. A GA-
nope. Not gonna get sued.